Out Loud

Tonight was the last chance for the dudes to make it into American Idol’s top 12 for 2010. The show started with a dialog about Simon being away from his fiancee and Ryan said that Kara was Simon’s binky. Simon clearly had no idea what a binky was and whispered to Kara for clarification. Even after she told him, he didn’t quite get it but I’m sure he won’t live it down for the rest of the season. They finally gave up the binky to let the guys sing. Here’s the lowdown for the top 8 guys.

Lee Dewyze

Lee sang the Owl City song “Fireflies”. It wasn’t my favorite of his performances though he sang it quite well. For me it was forgettable. Randy thought it was a “strange song choice” but that Lee made it work. Both Ellen and Randy thought it had pitch problems while Kara offered much higher praises, stating that he’d “made it a better song”. Simon thought it was nothing to rave about and that Lee was better than that version of the song. Simon did predict, however, that Lee would make it into the top 12. I agree. Not only do I hope to see him there, I expect to see him there.

Alex Lambert

Alex has made incredible progress through the weeks and showed so much more confidence. Alex is finally starting to shine through. His soulful rendition of Ray LaMontagne’s “Trouble” ended with a standing ovation. Randy wasn’t wowed but thought it was a good song choice. Ellen thought that he was ripening into a “mushy banana”. Ellen said he was getting better every week but warned him not to become a “cocky banana”. Kara told him to let go. She told him that “the only person standing between you and winning is YOU.” Simon also told him to relax and let go and said he had a distinct voice.

I had not experienced Ellen prior to American Idol so initially I had no idea what to expect from her. I wasn’t thrilled for the newest judge to be devoid of a musical background. It didn’t seem right. However, Ellen has totally worked her way into my heart and I look forward to her strange comments and quirky personality. She’s definitely a ripe banana in my book.

Tim Urban

Tim Urban was an unexpected surprise with the song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. Being the underdog who slid into the finals with the outing of Chris Golightly, Tim had a lot to prove. He didn’t wow the judges in the first weeks or demonstrate why he’d made it to Hollywood. For the first time with Hallelujah, Tim showed sparks of what the judges had seen initially. This was his best performance by a mile and he sang it with feeling as it should be sung. Randy said he was walking in some pretty big shoes but that he’d done a good job. Ellen ran out onto the stage and hugged him, apologizing for being so hard on him in previous weeks. Kara had originally predicted he’d quickly be sent home but that this song put him at the “top of the boys”. Simon took full responsibility for Tim’s progress, saying that his criticisms were what motivated Tim to improve. Simon thought he was “very, very smart with that song” and that it was by far the strongest performance he’d given. I agree. He might surprise us by sliding into the top 12. I wasn’t a fan initially but I think it would be interesting to watch him progress.

Andrew Garcia

Andrew tried to recreate his earlier magic from “Straight Up”, this time with the Christina Aguilera song “Genie in a Bottle”. The interesting thing about Andrew is that his best songs are girl songs, first by Paula Abdul and now with Christina. Girl songs seem to work best for him. He added a Spanish flair to the song and I loved it even though it was a little pitchy here and there. This is the zone he needs to stay in. The judges weren’t as enthused as I was. Randy said that Andrew made the whole song feel like it only had three notes. Ellen thought it was a great song choice but that the genie had come out of the bottle too late. Kara said he’d been chasing after that moment ever since the Paula song and never quite got there again. Simon thought it was “a little bit desperate” and that Andrew was going backwards.

Casey James

Casey sang the Keith Urban song “You’ll Think of Me”. I felt like I was listening to someone who was already there, already successful. There was no singing competition, just Casey singing us a song as if he’d always been singing. I’m glad he reconnected with his happy place because I’d hate to see him leave. Randy thought the song choice was too safe and that he should have chosen an edgier song. Ellen really liked it. Kara was “kinda back on the Casey train” but thought he was missing that spark. She did add that it was a move in the right direction. Simon thought it was his second best performance so far but like Randy, he wished Casey would have chosen a different song.

Aaron Kelly

Aaron totally lost my vote with his rendition of “I’m Already There” by Lonestar. I cringed almost all the way through it. If I had to choose between Aaron and Tim, I’d go with Tim as it’s refreshing to watch his progress after such a rough start. I’m really happy to see Tim grow every week. While I wouldn’t vote for Tim to win the whole enchilada, I’d like to see him stick around just to watch him prove Simon wrong as to his worthiness. As for Aaron, he probably slammed the door on his chances for the top 12. From the beginning I’ve felt that Aaron, Alex and Tim were the weakest of the guys battling each other for last place. I think Aaron won the last place slot. Randy offered a more positive outlook with “job well done” but said that Aaron still had more work to do. Ellen started with “I love you!” and ended by saying it was too much song for him. They were really throwing the L-word around for Aaron because Kara started with “I love you” as well, but told him that the song was all wrong for him. She said this was a song about a man wanting to come home to his kids, and that for someone so young to sing it, someone who wasn’t a father, it just felt all wrong for her. Simon admonished Kara that it didn’t matter if someone sang a song their life didn’t mirror and said the judges shouldn’t be confusing the contestants with this type of comment. Simon thought it was the right type of song and it was obvious that Aaron was trying hard, but it just wasn’t a good vocal. I vote him out and I’m betting that America will, too.

Todrick Hall

Todrick took on the Queen song “Somebody to Love”. All throughout the competition I wanted him out for the business issues surrounding him prior to American Idol. It just didn’t feel right for someone who left a wake of angry folks to go forward and succeed. He does, however, show talent and he really showed his range with this song. Todrick added a strong dose of gospel to the song and it was a good mix. I didn’t want to like it but I couldn’t help myself, he nailed it and I liked it. Randy thought it was one of the best male vocals of the last couple weeks and said that “Todrick is back!” Ellen agreed with me that adding the gospel worked. Kara called it dramatic like Godspell. Simon wasn’t impressed. He said that Todrick showed who he really was, just another Broadway singer. He commented on the boring songs sung by contestants sitting on stools (Andrew, Casey) and said the song may have saved Todrick.

Michael Lynche

Big Mike dropped a peg this week with the song “This Woman’s Work” by Kate Bush. Clearly the song was in honor of his wife and full of his love for her but for me, it was too sleepy. He started and ended in falsetto which were the good parts, and ended with the words “make it go away”. I agreed. I was bored and wanted the song to go away. The judges must have heard a different song because Randy thought it was hot and Ellen felt like the show had just begun and that Mike was the “one to beat”. The song brought Kara to tears. She had a hard time regaining her composure and leaned against Simon who was happy to offer his shoulder. Simon called it an incredibly difficult song, said that Mike had nailed it and that it was by far the best performance of all the live shows. No way! The girls hold those top spots as far as I’m concerned and the guys are just runners up right now.

I believe that Aaron and Alex will get the big brush off and not make it into the top 12. Andrew is dicey and has been on shaky ground through most of the competition. It was up to the genie to save him.

by Shari Coxford

The devil began his journey on Route 666 in Arizona and New Mexico, paid for with tax dollars and officially called the Devil’s Highway. The name has since changed but the legends live on.

His visit to Utah was equally inspiring. Report Number 666 of the Utah Foundation in May 2004 discussed Utah’s tax situation, announcing that Utah had the third highest state and local tax burden of all the Mountain States with the promise of more.

Nevada wasn’t quite as joyful with its ban on state taxes. Even property taxes took a hit. The 2001-2002 Statistical Analysis of the Roll for the Dept. of Taxation of Nevada showed 666 tax exemptions for fully disabled veterans. Nevada rolled the dice and the devil wasn’t pleased.

He went looking to Idaho in search of his taxes. House Bill 666 was introduced by the Revenue and Taxation Committee in Y2K. The goal of the bill was to reduce the devil’s taxes.

Neither did Montana offer up their proper taxes. In 2005, House District 53 received 666 tax returns claiming the Earned Income Tax Credit. This did not bode well for the devil. Tax exemptions, reduced taxes and now tax credits? Removing the devil’s name from their very highways? The nerve of the peons in these Mountain States!

Wyoming made a feeble attempt to appease the devil in 2001. The Department of Audit for the State of Wyoming conducted 666 audits to ensure state revenue compliance and collected $21.6 million in gross revenues. Things were looking up for the devil’s tax coffers.

It wasn’t until the devil visited Colorado that he was promised his proper taxes. The State of Colorado was proclaimed to have the unlimited power of taxation in Parsons v. People, 32 Colo. 221, 76 P. 666, 670 (1904). The devil was quite pleased to see unlimited taxes in his honor and bestowed upon the Mountain States the devil’s seal of approval.

by Shari Coxford

If you want to grow your business, there are three simple concepts that will propel you toward success: set action goals and success goals, reward yourself, and follow the money. While it may sound cliche, it really does work.

Set Action Goals and Success Goals

In order to reach the big goals you need a road map to follow. If you were driving from New York to California and you didn’t have an actual road map, you’d blindly drive southwest and hope that sooner or later you’d arrive in California. It would be easy to miss the goal if you weren’t familiar with the roads.

That’s where your road map comes in. It tells you which road you’re on at any given time and you can see when you’ve steered off course. Road maps also tell you when you’re near an interesting place that might be worth a detour.

Action and success goals help you in much the same way. Deciding that you want to make $100,000 a year is an excellent goal but how do you get there? The first step is to create a series of action goals and success goals. Action goals are actions you can take. Success goals are markers that you’ve moved closer to the big goal.

Here are a few examples of action goals: distribute 100 flyers, call 10 potential new clients, place an ad in a newspaper, add a web page to your website, create a Google Adwords ad, or create a referral program that offers an incentive to existing clients who bring you new clients.

Sales and giveaways are a different type of action goal. If you sell a product, put it on sale for a week or offer a freebie with a minimum purchase and make sure to get the word out.

Success goals break the ultimate goal into smaller success points. An ultimate goal of $100,000 a year breaks down to $8,333 per month. Set a success goal of $1,000 a month and once you achieve it, up the goal to $2,000 a month then $3,000.

Set action goals to move you from $1,000 to $2,000. An action goal is like stepping on the gas pedal to propel you forward to the next success goal. Every success goal you set is another location on your road map.

Reward Yourself for Goals Achieved

Once you’ve set up your action and success goals, the next step is to implement a reward system for yourself. For every goal achieved there should be an associated reward.

Set up small rewards for an action goal such as distributing 100 flyers. Set a bigger reward for a success goal such as earning $1,000 a month.

A reward might be to treat yourself to 10 new songs for your MP3 player from iTunes or Amazon.com. Perhaps you’d rather take yourself out to lunch, a movie, a trip to the beauty salon, bowling alley or ball game. Splurge on yourself. Buy a new shirt, book, plant for the garden, necklace, stamps for your stamp collection or a $30 bottle of liqueur that you wouldn’t normally treat yourself to. These are all ways to reward yourself.

Rewards can be very motivating. The most effective rewards are treats that you wouldn’t get except as a reward. In other words, don’t buy yourself a new book except as a reward for a goal you’ve achieved. If it’s just another book and you’ll get books anyway, the reward is diluted. It loses the power to motivate you.

Follow the Money

Sometimes the concepts that bring the most profit aren’t the ones you originally counted on. The best way to determine which aspects of your business are paying off and which are wasting your time is to divide your business into departments and then analyze the profits from each department.

Virtually any business can be subdivided into departments. For example, an appliance business might have the following departments: appliance repairs, washer and dryer sales, kitchen appliance sales, small appliance sales such as vacuum cleaners and toasters, and possibly even outdoor appliance sales such as BBQ grilles.

Perhaps you envisioned making a bundle selling refrigerators but if you keep track of the individual departments of your business, you might discover that you’re making a lot more money repairing appliances or selling outdoor BBQ grilles. You’re near an interesting detour that might be worth investigating.

Profits help you to navigate forks in the road. A departmental analysis might tell you that outdoor BBQ grilles are profitable and refrigerators are just old inventory taking up space. You’ve reached a decision point, a place where you must decide whether to go straight or take a turn.

The straight road will most likely take you off course, away from the $100,000 success goal. You know that refrigerators aren’t selling. The side street of BBQ grilles offers more profit potential so turning onto the side street makes the most sense. Start selling BBQ utensils, cookbooks, sauces and other related merchandise. Give the BBQ section prime real estate in your store and on your website. Try a few related side streets and offer a small selection of patio furniture. Move the refrigerators to the back, perhaps offering a refrigerator clearance sale.

Profits are your navigation system. Divide your business into departments and the profits will guide you. Other business departments might include different product lines, corporate customers versus individual customers, repairs versus new sales, selling products as an addition to a service business or vice versa.

Even internet businesses can be subdivided. Affiliate income, selling advertising space, selling your own product, designing web pages for others, all of these are separate portions of an internet business. Affiliate income can be further subdivided by the actual companies you do business with. Google is a single affiliate. So are Amazon and Commission Junction. If you find that one affiliate is more profitable you can focus your time and energy on that affiliate, making them more prominent on your website.

Product sales on the internet can be tracked regardless of whether the product is yours or affiliated. Which products bring the most commissions? This is a more important question than which product sells the most. If selling bumper stickers brings a profit of 50 cents each versus one e-book at a profit of $2.50, you’d need to sell 5 bumper stickers to equal the profit from a single e-book.

If you regularly sell 20 bumper stickers a day for a profit of $10 and only two e-books for a profit of $5, then you should focus on the bumper stickers. Try to sell 40 bumper stickers a day. Add more slogans and increase your marketing for bumper stickers. However, if the e-book wins out then you should consider adding other e-books on similar topics.

Set action goals and success goals so that you have a road map to follow. Set up a reward system for goals achieved. Analyze which aspects of your business bring the most profits and then follow the money. Expand the profitable portions of your business. Consider dropping departments that just aren’t paying off. Success might be found down a side street you never would have dreamed of.

Tonight was the last chance for the girls to make it into the top 12. Some performances were just “peanut performances” that “kinda sucked the energy out” while others had wow moments for their entire performance. Here’s the lowdown for the top 8 girls fighting to be in American Idol’s top 12.

Katie Stevens

Katie sang the Kelly Clarkson song “Breakaway”. For me it was flat. The key didn’t suit her voice. She made no attempt to change the song and as Simon likes to say, it wasn’t as good as the original. The crowd, however, seemed to love it. Randy agreed with me and said that it paled in comparison to the original. Ellen didn’t think it was the right song choice. Kara said that tonight especially the singing needed to be perfect and it wasn’t. Simon thought she “kinda sucked the energy out of it and made it a little bit gloomy”, but he gave her a 10 for effort.

Siobhan Magnus

Siobhan totally wowed me with her rendition of “House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals. She started out a capella and immediately had me mesmerized by putting her haunting twist on a favorite old song. For me, this performance definitely had the wow factor and yes, I’d buy her singing this song. The crowd agreed and she got a standing ovation. Randy said she wasn’t very good at listening to their advice, and that she should keep on doing exactly what she was doing because it was HOT. Ellen said that music is supposed to move you and it did. Kara called her an “unlikely character” and said she was unique and different. Simon, however, surprised me. He’s typically the downer but I really expected a standing ovation from him. Instead, he “didn’t get it” and was “underimpressed”. Simon didn’t think Siobhan had that wow moment and I totally disagree. For me, she’s the bomb. My favorite performance of the night.

Lacey Brown

Lacey got a standing ovation with “The Story” by Brandi Carlile. It wasn’t a strong performance for me but her voice does have an interesting lilt. Randy called it “sleepy” and “boring” but thought it was her best song in a long time. That’s pretty bad when you think about it. For your best song in a long time to be sleepy and boring? Ellen also thought it was her best song to date. Kara said she was back on her path and Simon didn’t love the song but thought she sang it very well. He said that this performance was “in danger of being forgotten.” I think she might be in trouble.

Katelyn Epperly

Katelyn sang the Carole King song “I Feel The Earth Move”. What a brave song choice. This song is so well known and loved that you better not take it on unless you can really do something different with it. Katelyn didn’t. She attempted to clone the original and the effort totally failed. She did have fun singing it and even attempted to clone the Carole King hairdo from the Tapestry album cover. Randy thought it was “sleepy” and “boring” putting her neck and neck with Lacey for the night. Ellen said it was “not the song to choose to wow people to pick up the phone”. Kara didn’t feel that Katelyn was competing and Simon said that “this might have been a mistake for you tonight”. Was he predicting her downfall? In her own defense, Katelyn said she was trying to be “less corny”.

Didi Benami

Didi did the Fleetwood Mac song “Rhiannon”. She definitely changed it up and added her uniqueness to it. However, I don’t think she’s strong enough for this competition. She’s like a mouse whispering in the background. I do like her voice but I wouldn’t have bought the song and that’s what it’s all about. You have to ask yourself, would you actually pay money to buy this song as you are hearing it right now? Randy hopes she stays awhile longer but said it wasn’t her best. Ellen said “yes indeedy, Didi”. Kara said it was one of her favorite moments of the show and Simon agreed with Kara. He said it was the best performance of the night and that her wow moment was the whole performance. Nope, I don’t agree with Simon. That’s a compliment I would have given Siobhan.

Paige Miles

Paige sang the song “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin. I didn’t know he wrote songs! I had no idea what to expect until she started singing. Smile is a song we’ve all heard: “Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking…” It was obvious that Paige put a lot of feeling into it but I didn’t feel the connection. It seemed a little shaky and I’m thinking she may be in trouble. Some of the notes just got away from her. Randy agreed with me. He said it just didn’t work and that it went completely flat for him. Ellen said that this song was supposed to be uplifting, not sad. Kara thought it was all wrong and Simon thought it was a horrible song choice. Simon called it a “peanut performance”. He said it was the sort of performance where you’d see people sitting at the bar eating peanuts, totally ignoring the song. Simon predicted the end of the road for Paige.

Crystal Bowersox

Crystal rocked it with another awesome performance, this time singing “Give Me One Reason To Stay” by Tracy Chapman. She sang with soft notes and salty notes, totally infusing the song with soul. I definitely felt the connection between Crystal and the song and I could easily hear it on the radio just as she sang it. For me, it was better than the original. For Randy, this is what the show is all about. He loved the honesty. Ellen said she needed new adjectives and that it was the best performance of the night. Kara sees it as the type of record that Crystal should be making. Simon said that “one million billion percent” this would put her in the top 12, and that Crystal was the one to beat. I put her number two to Siobhan for the night, personally, but then again, I happen to favor Siobhan’s song choice over Crystal’s.

Lilly Scott

Lilly totally lost me this week. My heart broke into pieces to see her fall so flat on one of my favorite songs. Lilly sang “I Fall To Pieces” by Patsy Cline. Taking on a Patsy song is a huge risk because Patsy was so uniquely memorable. Lilly definitely changed it up but for me, it just didn’t work. Randy, however, thought she was “in the zone”. Ellen loved the originality and style. Kara said it made Patsy Cline feel current. Simon thought she was very brave to choose that song on a night like this. He thought it was cute and quirky, but very risky. He wasn’t clear as to whether this was a prediction or not. I’m hoping not.

This week it’s easier to pick two to stay than it is to pick two to go. My top two picks are Siobhan and Crystal. I can’t put Lilly in the number three spot but I do hope she makes it through. Katie I’m hoping is outed but I can’t pick another one to out.

The results are in. Of the girls, Haeley Vaughn and Michelle Delamor were voted off. Of the guys, it was John Park and Jermaine Sellers.

I’m okay with the choice except for Jermaine. There were at least two other guys who should have been the ones to go. It wasn’t his time but America voted and disagreed with me. Was it the onesie? At least he was gracious in his goodbye leaving the world on a positive note. His parting words were, “With God there is no failure.”

As for Michelle, I’ll be surprised if doors don’t open for her. If not for her singing, surely her incredible smile will open up doors. If not, she can count on the promise made by Maria in The Sound of Music: “When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.”

Didi appeared to be in shock that she wasn’t voted off. Not quite as vividly surprised as Tim Urban had been last week. It was almost worth keeping him in to see the absolute, utter shock on his face. However, he is one of the weakest guys so he’ll need to fight a lot harder if he wants to stay.

I was happy that Big Mike, Casey, Lee and Andrew will stick around. Andrew really needs to pick up his game, though. I’m totally with the judges. He wowed me with his rendition of the Paula Abdul song “Straight Up” and I keep waiting for him to wow me again, but so far he’s left me hanging. Without the memory of that song, he hasn’t offered much.

My biggest beef was Simon’s comment that after watching the show, the compliment he’d given to one of the girls wasn’t deserved. He wouldn’t say who. While on the surface that might seem honorable not to point the finger, it was a really rotten thing to say. He left every single girl who’d gotten a compliment wondering if she was the one who didn’t deserve it. All the compliments given were thus diluted. He should have either pointed the finger or kept it shut.

Who am I hoping makes it into the top 12? Casey, Andrew, Big Mike, Lee, Aaron, and not Todrick, whose bad press really turned me off. For the girls it would be Crystal, Lilly, Siobhan, Didi, Paige and the last is a toss up between Katelyn and Lacey. Katelyn has shown stronger talent so far but I keep thinking Lacey has it and is just too nervous to let it out.

I’m a bit late coming into this season but I’m so full of thoughts I have to let it out. I definitely agree that it’s the girl’s year. Overall the girls are much stronger and more memorable than the guys. Several of the guys are very weak and leave me wondering how they got in. Even my favorites for the guys left me empty this week. The girls however, gave some strong performances.

Crystal Bowersox

She’s been one of my favorites from day one. She’s different and she’s fresh. You’re not going to hear the same worn out songs that past idols have chosen. I enjoy listening to Crystal and she’s believeable. While I wasn’t fond of tonight’s song “Long As I Can See the Light” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, I thought she really nailed it. I much preferred last week’s song “Hand In My Pocket”. I hope she stays. I was surprised that both Simon and Ellen saw her as THE potential winner. Crystal is not the type of singer they usually stand behind. Most often it’s what I call the “Whitney Celine” style that the judges love. I much prefer different.

Didi Benami

Didi has a unique sound and I do enjoy her, but I’ve already forgotten her song choice and had to look it up to write this. Turns out it was Bill Wither’s song “Lean On Me.” A bold choice but one that just didn’t fit her voice or her look. I thought she did much better last week. She may be in trouble this week.

Haeley Vaughn

I understand the appeal. Haeley is bubbly and there’s an air of innocence about her. However, her voice tends to wobble and her words don’t come out as clearly as they should. If she stays, it’s probably more for the likeability than the talent. While I doubt she’ll get voted off this week, she would be one of my picks for someone to go.

Katelyn Epperly

I totally agreed with Ellen. The song “Scientist” was way too slow and it didn’t keep me hooked. I much preferred Katelyn singing last week’s song “Oh Darling”. However, neither song really showcases her as a current pop artist.

Katie Stevens

I do hear the potential in her voice. However, for some reason she just doesn’t appeal to me. She hasn’t hooked me once so far although I thought she really connected with last week’s song “I’m Feeling Good”. Katie reminds me of an actress on a TV show only I can’t remember who. If I were going to vote someone off, she’d be one of my picks. She sang “Put Your Records On” and I couldn’t help hearing the echoes of the song as it was sung last season. Katie did a much better job but it just didn’t click for me.

Lacey Brown

I love the sound of her voice and she is picking songs that match her voice, but they aren’t working. Last week’s “Landslide” was a total disaster. Her voice was a good fit but it sounded wobbly and pitchy. She may have been too nervous. This week’s “Kiss Me” was a big improvement and for the most part she did a much better job with it. However, her version was a replica of the original and not quite as good. While I’m not ready to see her go yet, there are several others who rank higher for me and I wouldn’t want her to stay at their expense.

Lilly Scott

She’s another of my favorites and I was very unhappy that Simon compared her unfavorably to Crystal. Lilly is not the same. She has a very unique sound and whenever I watch her perform, I find myself smiling. She’s the only idol who has that affect. I usually don’t enjoy songs I’ve never heard before but last week’s “Fixing A Hole” really sucked me in and this week’s song “Change Is Gonna Come” by Sam Cook really showed her talent as an artist. She totally made that song her own and connected with it. I believed it.

Michelle Delamor

I disagreed with the judges yet again. I really enjoyed her performance last week of “Falling (In and Out of Love With You)” but this week she fell flat for me. Apparently it was the exact opposite for the judges. Her rendition of “With Arms Wide Open” might have appealed to the judges, but it didn’t appeal to me.

Paige Miles

This was the first time I connected with Paige. Last week I’d hoped for her to get voted out but this week, we connected. I thought she did a great job with Kelly Clarkson’s song “Walk Away” and I disagreed with Kara that Paige lacked the anger needed to pull it off. Her version was just different enough to play on a different type of radio station and I enjoyed her performance. She does need to work on owning the stage.

Siobhan Magnus

Another favorite for me. I’ve enjoyed every performance she’s done and tonight was no exception. Her rendition of Aretha Franklin’s “Think” would have put me on the dance floor. While she didn’t change it up as they often tell the contestants to do, it didn’t matter because she totally nailed it. I did disagree with one of the judge’s comments, however. I thought she totally aced the song except for that one note, which sounded a bit screechy to me. Apparently, the judges and I didn’t agree. They preferred that one note to the rest of the song.

I can’t offer up a favorite but if I had to pick two to go, I’d pick Katie and Haeley. However, my picks don’t usually match the rest of the world so if I were going to predict who is going to get voted off, it would be Didi, Lacey or Michelle.

1982

Christmas was peering out from its normally forgotten room. Dottie sighed with despair. She wasn’t looking forward to this particular Christmas. Her friends and family were scattered from California to Illinois to New York. Dottie had nobody to share Christmas with.

Still she had outdone herself. A four foot Christmas tree stood in the highest place of honor she could bestow upon it: the living room table. No matter where in the room she sat, the little Christmas tree twinkled it’s happy lights. Shiny garlands draped every doorway. Christmas ornaments hung from chandeliers and windows. Lights twinkled throughout the apartment framing every available opening. Though it was beautiful to look at there was no meaning to be found in the glitter. An empty feeling crept into her heart. Dottie felt very alone.

Always with a ready smile and a Merry Christmas, to the world Dottie appeared to be jolly with the spirit of Christmas. Santa Claus pins, candy cane earrings and little ringing bells adorned her. Outwardly she exuded a happy face but inwardly, the loneliness was overwhelming. Dottie never told a soul how lonely it felt to face the holidays by herself. She put on a happy Christmas face and hid her sadness.

At work they normally drew straws to see who’d be stuck working Christmas Day. She knew that the other two bartenders, Jessie and Polly, had places to go and families to share the holidays with.

Jessie had pulled the short straw the year before and had worked while her husband and son visited family in another state. That had been a miserable Christmas for Jessie. Dottie couldn’t bear to see her friends suffer that way so she offered to work a double shift Christmas Day. Jessie and Polly could be with their families and Dottie would be better off out of the house on Christmas Day.

Dottie spent Christmas Eve opening the presents sent from her far away family as she watched Miracle on 34th Street with her cat. Loneliness engulfed her.

Christmas morning dawned and Dottie pulled herself wearily out of bed. Depression touched every corner of her soul and getting ready for work was a supreme effort of will. She dressed in green pants, a white blouse and tied a red ribbon around her neck. The ribbon felt like a noose.

Dottie couldn’t help but imagine what the rest of the world was doing. Visions tormented her of families sitting cross-legged around the Christmas tree laughing and sharing hugs and kisses and love. Her eyes filled with tears.

She prayed that a few lonely souls would somehow find their way into her bar. She knew that her hopes were empty ones. It was going to be a long twelve hours of trying to look cheery for what she knew would be her only customer: Pat, the dining room waitress. All the hotel guests were back home and the only customers would be families eating Christmas dinner out.

Jessie, one of the bartenders who Dottie was working for, had previously instructed Dottie that there was a present locked in the cupboard for Pat, who’s name Jessie had drawn from the hat.

In the cupboard stood a tiny Christmas tree next to a box full of presents, all gift-wrapped with colorful paper and ribbons and bows. Jessie sure had gone all out for Pat. Dottie took the tree and the presents out of the cupboard and found to her greatest surprise that the tree had her name on it! The tree was a foot tall, twinkling with lights and sporting a yellow star on top.

She took a closer look at the box full of presents. The first one had Pat’s name on it but all the rest were for Dottie! Awe and wonder danced across her face. For her? They’d done all this for her?

Tears filled Dottie’s eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She put the tree on the bar and arranged all the presents around it. Jessie and Polly had been so grateful that she’d volunteered to work that they’d engineered a surprise visit from Santa.

That little tree became huge in Dottie’s eyes. It became the symbol of the true Spirit of Christmas. Dottie could feel their warmth and their love embracing her as she sat spellbound watching the lights blinking on the tree. Tears of despair turned into tears of joy. This is what Christmas was all about: the warmth, the caring, the thoughtfulness, the sharing between people, not of presents, but of themselves. It was a piece of Jessie’s heart and Polly’s heart warming the bar all around the tree, chasing Dottie’s loneliness away.

Suddenly Dottie didn’t feel so alone. Their friendship had reached out into the lonely bar and lit it up with joy. This was the real Christmas, the Christmas that gets lost amid the hustle and bustle of parties, the mountains of presents, the hoards of food and the glitter of tinsel.

It touched Dottie deeply that they’d thought of her there all alone and she realized that she wasn’t really alone after all. Jessie and Polly had filled her Christmas with their outpouring of love. For years after, whenever she put up the little Christmas tree, Dottie remembered her friends at work who had given her the most wonderful gift of all
– The Spirit of Christmas.

To Jessie and Polly wherever you are, almost thirty years later I still remember what you did for me, and it still makes me cry. Thank you!

Can a dog change his spots?

There are many reasons for a dog’s skin color to change. An aging dog’s nose may start turning pink. In cold weather, some dogs get Winter Nose or Snow Nose, causing their nose to turn pink. There’s a long list of nasty dog diseases that cause changes in skin color from mange to thyroid problems to cancer. Dogs can get vitiligo, the disease that causes people to lose skin pigmentation. Another dog disease is called Black Skin Disease. Pomeranians are particularly prone to Black Skin Disease but any dog can get it. A dog’s coat can become dull with a low quality food. Even for a dog, you are what you eat. A dog with a plastic water bowl will sometimes have discoloration of their nose due to an allergic reaction. But none of these explanations fit Dakota.

For our Australian Cattle Dog/Husky mix (also known as an Ausky), it was pure genetics. Several dog breeds such as the Australian Cattle Dog, the Husky, Dalmatians and other breeds are born white or near white and develop their coloring over time. Nobody tells you exactly by what age they stop changing. What follows is the pictorial tale of one dog’s changing skin color AFTER the age you would have expected it to stop changing.

Dakota was a year and a half old in June 2008. You can see the wide path of pink across the bridge of her nose.

Dakota was well past two when a black dot appeared on her nose. The black dot appeared in early 2009. It was the size of a pencil point. I watched in amazement as the dot grew bigger and bigger, evolving into a small, black island with a second dot appearing next to it. In addition, the black areas above and below the dots started expanding, growing toward each other as you can see from the photos. Look how much the black dots grew in a single month from April to May.

When the first pencil point dot appeared, I pointed it out to my husband and nephew but neither seemed overly interested in a dot on a dog’s nose. I was fascinated. At two year’s old I did not expect our dog to be changing colors. At two and a half years old the dots were still growing and the black areas were still expanding.

By September 2009, one of the dots had become part of the main black area, connecting the upper and lower black areas like a bridge. Dakota turned three years old on December 1, 2009 and her coloring was still changing.

I kept a photo diary of the changing colors on our dog’s nose which continued to change even as she turned three years old. By December 2009, both black dots were fully connected to the other black areas. Most of the pink on her nose was now black.

Dakota is considered a red merle. Not being a full blooded Aussie dog, I’m presuming that means her Aussie parent was a red merle. Color changes in merle colored dogs often continue thru adulthood causing the dog to become darker in color, particularly where the light merle areas are. Blue merles end up looking like black tricolors. Red merles who’ve darkened may be mistaken for red tricolors. Red merle dogs can lighten to blonde when they’re in the sun much like a human sun bleached blonde. Sun bleached color changes are not permanent. New hair growth will be the original coat color.

Of what use is this information? Unlike my dog training articles, probably not much. But any dog nerd would surely see the fascination in watching the dot on a dog’s nose grow bigger. Will it ever stop growing? I don’t know. Dakota just turned three on December 1, 2009 and her nose is still changing. Maybe a leopard can’t change it’s spots but Dakota is living proof that a dog can!

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Only in Georgia do you find every manner of bizarre and nasty bug imaginable and our one acre seemed to house the worst of them. We’d found two inch long dung beetles, scorpions, black widows, Cow Killer wasps, fire ants, Arrowhead spiders, and other assorted bugs that bite, sting or are just interesting. This time it was a brightly colored caterpillar.

The caterpillar was breathtaking with his vivid lime green blanket and well defined brown saddle ringed with white. The edges of the blanket had tufts of tan colored hairs or spines tipped with black. His horns were spiny, too, and he had two horns on both the front and back.

His rear end offered the perfect camouflage with two great big lime green eyes. Only they weren’t eyes, they were green spots designed to make his rear end look like his head to confuse predators. His rear end even had a mouth, making his fake face complete.

Having discovered that the wonders of my own backyard made great blog entries, I ran for the camera. Our little Sony Cybershot took great photos and even movies with sound. The green and brown Saddleback Caterpillar did not disappoint except that I failed to get the movie I wanted.

As we watched his head, he puffed out what we thought was his throat and out popped a turd. We had witnessed a caterpillar pooping! And we realized that this was his rearend, not his head. Try as I might to get a movie of the Saddleback Caterpillar pooping, he didn’t do it for me again. I did, however, get several photos of his posterior in various stages before and after pooping. It was truly mesmerizing.

Saddleback Caterpillar getting ready to poop.

Here comes the turd.

He wasn’t hard to find on the internet. My very first try was to type in Saddleback Caterpillar and I hit paydirt. Our caterpillar, scientifically known as Sibine stimulea or Acharia stimulea, would go on to become a plain brown moth with tiny white spots someday. But today he was of the family of slug caterpillars that are found in Eastern North America from Massachusetts down into Mexico and west to Missouri and Texas from June to August in the cooler climates and almost all year in the warmer climates such as Georgia. He was feeding on a thornless blackberry bush in September.

Saddleback Caterpillars feed on a wide variety of plants and trees. People have found them on trees such as cherry, oak, elm, plum, apple, poplar, chestnut, maple, redbud, crepe myrtles, dogwood, rose of sharon, banana trees and palms. Plants include corn, blackberries, blueberries, tomatoes, green beans, hydrangeas, azaleas, elephant ears, ivy, holly, amaryllis, irises, gladiolas and peonies. In other words you can find them on just about anything. More often than not they are found on the underside of leaves where you can brush up against them and be stung before you’ve even spotted them. Other common names include Packsaddle Caterpillar and Stinging Hair Caterpillar.

In my quest to make him poop for the camera I came very close to touching him. Thank God I didn’t because the hairs are venomous and pack a nasty punch. Each hair has a poison sac at its base and the sting is reputed to be much like a wasp sting. The pain and swelling can last for days and is often accompanied by a rash, nausea, cold chills, sweating, headache, dizziness, tingling and numbness. One person described the pain as “burning like fire” and some folks experience heart palpitations.

Use cellophane tape to remove the stinging hairs. Ice packs help reduce pain and swelling and swimming in a chlorine pool helps to diffuse the venom. Any bee sting remedy such as Benadryl, Camphophenique or other treatments for bee and wasp stings may help but be prepared to suffer for days from the sting of this colorful brown and green caterpillar.

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Our dog Dakota came into the house stinking like a dead thing. She’d only been outdoors a few minutes for potty and in that short time she’d gotten into something so foul smelling that you could smell her from several feet away. The whole room reeked of the smell of death and all I could think of was that our dog had found a dead animal and rolled in it.

They say dogs roll on dead things to mask their own scent for when they’re hunting, that rolling on dead animals is a throwback to their wild dog ancestry. When dogs hunt animals for food it helps if the prey doesn’t smell them coming. Dakota definitely liked to roll on dead things. Even a dead bug would send her into a frenzy of orgasmic rolling.

Click the arrows to play the movie of our dog Dakota rolling on some godawful thing.

You can see how thoroughly a dog can get covered in whatever stinky thing they find. Dakota is a house dog. She sleeps in the bedroom with us and spends most of her time indoors. Whatever she gets into outdoors she joyfully brings in to share it with us. Lovelies such as poison ivy and even the turtle she brought in one day are a few of the joys of sharing your home with an indoor dog.

The stench was horrible and poor Dakota couldn’t understand why we were avoiding her. She smelled like a dead, rotting animal and I assumed if she’d rolled on a dead animal she’d be covered with nasty germs and bacteria. In a few short minutes outdoors our dog had become a pariah dog. Untouchable.

It was too late for a real dog bath and I was pretty desperate. I gave Dakota a whore bath with a wet washcloth and a dab of rubbing alcohol on it. You just can’t have an indoor dog smelling like a rotting carcass. I don’t know how safe my method was knowing that whatever you put on a dog, they will lick it off, but whatever nasty germs might have been attached to the rotting carcass could be harmful to all of us so surely it was the lesser of two evils.

I rubbed her vigorously all over with the washcloth concentrating on her back, shoulders, flanks and scruff. Apparently I got most of it because there was just the tiniest whiff of a smell when I finished. The next morning I went in search of the dead thing in hopes of deleting it before she rolled in it again but I couldn’t find it. I found what appeared to be a stinky, rotting mushroom that looked like old dog poo but that was about it.

The next day a thorough dog bath washed the bad smell away and Dakota was touchable again. Two days later I had a flash of inspiration as to the source of Dakota’s smell. Rotting dead bodies weren’t the only stinky things she could have rolled on. I’d been researching mushrooms for the adventure game and remembered reading about a mushroom called a Stinkhorn. I knew it was a longshot but worth a look and discovered an amazing mushroom in the process. The scientific name for one variety of Stinkhorns is Phallus Impudicus and for good reason. They emerge from the ground looking a lot like that male sexual organ. So much so that in the 1800s, Charles Darwin’s daughter Henrietta “Etty” Darwin embarked on a mission to rid the world of the immoral Stinkhorn mushroom. Unlike her father in his quest to expose evolution, Etty preferred to burn the seedier aspects of it and set out on her own version of the Stinkhorn witch hunts.

According to her niece Gwen in a memoire called Period Piece, Aunt Etty claimed to be the inventor of a sport to eradicate a toadstool called The Stinkhorn, whose scent was so powerful that you could hunt it by smell alone. Armed with a basket and pointed stick, Etty would hunt down Stinkhorns and using her pointed stick, “poke his putrid carcase into her basket”, later burning the toadstools “in the deepest secrecy on the drawing-room fire, with the door locked; because of the morals of the maids”.

Gwen Raverat, Period Piece (New York: Ann Arbor Paperbacks,1976)

There are several varieties of Stinkhorns including the Octopus Stinkhorn, Devil’s Fingers Stinkhorn, Chambered Stinkhorn, Stalked Lattice Stinkhorn, Columned Stinkhorn, Basket Fungus, Bamboo Fungus, Veiled Stinkhorn, Netted Stinkhorn, Common Stinkhorn and Dog Stinkhorn and one of their claims to fame is that yes, they stink. You can actually smell them from quite a distance and depending on the variety, they smell like either a pile of dog poop, raw sewage or a dead animal. The Netted or Veiled Stinkhorns are encased in a delicate, lacy net as a bride on her wedding day awaiting her groom.

Stinkhorns erupt from the ground as an egg shaped mushroom and can grow several inches in a matter of hours. In the egg stage they are actually edible and some folks consider them quite a delicacy. All varieties share this innocent beginning but from that point they diversify into entities resembling starfish, octopus, sex organs, Wiffle balls or pretzels.

No matter what alien they emulate sooner or later they will do what they do best: they will STINK. These mushrooms will emit a smell so overpowering that you might think you are smelling raw sewage, dog poop or a very large dead animal. You could clear a room with a single Stinkhorn mushroom. That’s how a Stinkhorn propogates. It emits a slimy, foul-smelling substance designed to attract flies. What self deserving fly wouldn’t zero in on a dead carcass or dog poop? The flies come sniffing around, the Stinkhorn spores stick to their feet, the flies carry the spores off to multiply elsewhere. A pretty ingenious mushroom!